The Captain America Complex

There’s a problem I hear repeated over and over in my circle of friends, all different, yet joined by this common thread: the lack of consistency. And it’s driving us crazy.

I’ve heard countless stories over the past few months of how things were going well, we were so motivated, change was happening, and then – Nothing. We  lost our motivation and lost our way in the process of living healthy, balanced lives. Things go dark, we search for meaning, gripping to the edges of success only to fall back farther than we had before like a child attempting to climb up a slide.

This does nothing for us. But how do we escape this pattern? How do we live in freedom from ourselves?

I’ll admit, the answers aren’t as clear as I’d like them to be.  I know there are certain habits I’ve tried countless times to change only to be more stubbornly stuck than before. But sometimes I catch glimpses of clarity and I know what my next step will be.

In one such glimpse of clarity, I see that I’ve created a monster obsessed with the final outcome of my journey. I’ll call it my “Captain America Complex.” My health has been shoved to the side as I gaze upon images of fit girls effortlessly doing pull-ups as I think to myself, “I wonder what I could create with my body?” What form could I cut, what gains could I make?

What could I become?

If you read that last question in a mad scientist voice, you’re not too far from my reality. This complex has gotten away from me and created something I don’t like at all. Only my next step is clear: I must write about this. I don’t think I’m alone, and judging from what I’ve been hearing, this complex might be challenging others to their core.

I hope you join me here as I explore the fine line between wanting to be better and wanting to be a god. The same line that drives us from being consistent to being obsessive. I don’t promise answers, and I know I’ll stumble throughout this processes, but I can promise a safe place to expose issues with our culture, thinking, and living that will hopefully lead us to healthful answers and a balanced life.


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